They are nice but

What is it with the extra word attached to any type of compliment?  I don’t know about you, but it drives me crazy when someone says something like “They are nice but” or “Good job but”. 

Why does that drive me crazy because the description on the other end of that but is usually contradictory to the first part of the sentence or just not nice.  The other scenario is that what is on the other side of that but is going to “raise up” the person speaking and put down the person or thing they are talking about.

I don’t know if I am the only one that thinks about it when people say it, but it seems to be happening more and more.  Why?

Why do we feel the need to describe someone as nice but add a “dig” or “correction” at the end?  Do we think it makes us look better?  I don’t think that it does.  Offer a compliment of someone or something just leave it at that.  If someone did a great job, you can end the sentence with just those 2 words.

Sure, maybe we think we are helping the person with some ways to get even better but in the moment does it come off as that?  When someone is basking in the light of a win or big accomplishment adding that “but”, “however” or “did you think about” after the compliment doesn’t come off as a win or helpful.

If anything, you are going to take the shine off their big moment but telling them how they could have done it differently.  If you are talking about someone to another person and you give a “They are nice but” it doesn’t make you look better, if anything it makes you look insecure or small because you can’t offer a simple compliment.

So, what do I mean with all of this?  Where do you take it?  I think we need to be genuine when we offer our compliments as well as timely.  In the moment be authentic and show the person or situation the accolades they deserve.  If you want to offer suggestions, do it in the future in a mutually beneficial time and place.  If you are going out of your way to compliment, help them to shine bright cause that’s what matters.  As always Shine Bright and Much Love!

~JMAXX